They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
