I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize