you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
