She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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