Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
