Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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