Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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