Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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