Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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