umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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