okay pat passed out under dana's car
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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