Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
