Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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