I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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