Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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