he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
