shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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