Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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