I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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