he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
