There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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