I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
