yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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