Cold hands, warm shart.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
