Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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