Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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