also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
