So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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