Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
