this boner is exhausting
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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