his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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