In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
