playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
