you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
