Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
