ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
