Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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