Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
