Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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