I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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