I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
