does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
