upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize