you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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