I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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