I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize