The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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