I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
