That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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