Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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