Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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