So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
