god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
