now i know why i became what i already was.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
