i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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