do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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