I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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