Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize