opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize