life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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