my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
