these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
