I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
