not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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