Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
