lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
