whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
