the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
