We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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